The Anatomy of a Name

Yep, that is me...and you wonder why I'm addicted to soda!!

Names are a tricky thing. I take them very seriously. I really feel like each name I have given to my children has truly "fit" them. Sometimes I think about other names that were in the running and think, "wow, that name totally doesn't fit her". I also don't believe in nicknames. If you give someone a name, that is what they should go by, don't you think? Sometimes Ray calls Elliot "Eli", mostly just because he knows it bugs me. I like the name Eli, but if I wanted my son to be called Eli, that is what I would've named him. Anyway, I know a lot of people don't agree with me, and that is fine....I know I'm right (kidding :) ).

So, my whole life I have been called Becky, but my name is Rebecca. Don't get me wrong, I like the name Becky, but I love the name Rebecca. If you had the choice, wouldn't you want to be known as a Rebecca? Seriously?! I have always wished that I could go by Rebecca. I have even tried to switch a time or two. I have yet to be successful, mostly because I was too wishy washy when people who knew me as "Becky" would ask me what I really wanted to be called. The people pleaser in me would say "Oh, whatever you want", while I was really thinking "REBECCA"!! And I wouldn't correct people when they called me Becky.

You may be asking yourself the question, "So why didn't you switch with one of your many moves?" Good question, I've asked myself the same thing many times. Kicked myself many times. Here's the thing. I love my given name, but when people call me by it, it feels weird. A 34 year habit is hard to break. It feels formal and distant, like they don't really know me. Except for Ray, who calls me Rebecca all the time. I've stopped trying to figure out my brain. But, I think after a couple uncomfortable months I, and everyone else, would get used to it. And then I could be Rebecca.

So, a few months ago I was having this discussion with my visiting teacher who has successfully transitioned from Becky to Rebecca. She told me that she was going to spread the word that I wanted to make the change. So she did. And people started asking me what I wanted to be called. And I said, "Oh, whatever you want, either way is fine". What is wrong with me?? But the last few weeks something in me has changed. I feel like it's time for a rebirth. I'm done having kids, I am realizing that I can reach goals that I never thought I would (I'm gong to run a marathon, for pete's sake!!), I feel like a new chapter of my life has begun, and I'm now feeling like I am ready to say, "you know, I really prefer Rebecca". (It doesn't sound that mean, does it?) I realize that my family may never completely be on board, and that's okay. But, soon I will be Rebecca.